There is no “but”

Inspirations from TV shows and movies

I’ve been wanting to write about the inspiration I get from TV shows, movies, and documentaries for a while now. So here it is.

A few weeks ago, I finished watching Dance Life, a show about a dance program in Australia. It was powerful to watch these young people work so hard, doing something they love so intensely. Some of them carried deep trauma, and yet they kept pushing forward.

The teachers, too, were under pressure. Their shows were a direct reflection of their work, exposed to the public. I guess everyone can be judged.

One phrase really stayed with me: 
“There’s no but.”

A teacher asked a student what she wanted to do after the program. She answered, but added a “but” at the end, like a way to soften it, or protect herself. The teacher stopped her and said, “There’s no but.”
It hit me. I often do the same. I’m so used to things not working out that I automatically prepare for disappointment. I say something positive… and then I add a “but.” Just in case.

But now, as I’m building more self-trust and confidence, I feel how important it is to let the sentence stand on its own.
There is no “but.”

And maybe that can help you too.

Lately, I’ve also been experimenting with a different way of relating to “but.” Instead of using “but,” I try replacing it with “and.” Because both things can be true at the same time.

For example, instead of saying: “I had a great day, but then it started raining,” you could say: “I had a great day, and it also started raining.”

It feels different. Softer. Less like one experience cancels out the other. Maybe it’s a small shift, but it makes things feel a little less negative… and a little more real. Because two things can be true at the same time. And that’s okay.

So maybe sometimes, there is no “but”… only an “and.”

Another movie I watched recently, and I rarely like rewatching things twice so that says a lot, is Eddie the Eagle. Such a beautiful true story.

Eddie is a deeply driven kid who dreams of participating in the Olympics from a very young age. But he doesn’t come from a privileged background. Not the right city, not the ideal body, not the support system you’d expect. His privilege is his determination. It’s like he simply cannot give up on his dream.

As he grows up, he keeps on trying, without much support, except from his mom and, in a way, from himself. I won’t share the details… you have to watch it!

His story reminds me of the story of the deaf frog who makes it out of the deep hole because he literally cannot hear the voices telling him to quit.

And I catch myself thinking: I wish I was like that. But the truth is, I’m not, and I know I’m not alone. We carry trauma. We carry doubt. We’ve learned to question ourselves, to hesitate, to protect. And that matters.

These stories remind me of a few things:
Don’t listen too much to negativity, whether it comes from others or from your own mind. Words have power. Negative words can shut us down. Encouraging ones can lift us up. Believing in ourselves isn’t optional, it’s part of the path.
And also…
If saying something without adding a “but” doesn’t feel right or safe, that’s information. It might mean you’re not ready yet. It might mean there’s something to heal. It might mean something in you still needs to feel safe before moving forward. And that’s okay.

That’s been my reality for most of my life.
And still, I keep on trying. I keep learning. Sometimes the hard way.
But And that is the work 😉

🌱 If you’ve been struggling with your mental and emotional health, you’re not alone. I’m currently offering counselling sessions as a student counsellor, and I’d be honoured to support you on your path. Reach out anytime 🙂 Contact me

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