A teen learning mindfulness was listening…
… even if she didn’t look like it
In case you don’t know, on top of being a counsellor, I’ve also been teaching mindfulness programs to children 5–11 years old and youth 12–18 for the past six years.
Here is one of the most unexpected testimonials I’ve ever received:
In plain text:
“Hi Laure, one day ML came to me after spending hours on her phone. She wanted to show me a self-help app she had coded. There was a section where the app would take you through breathing and mindfulness activities, and the instructions came right out of your mindfulness sessions. She made us think she wasn’t paying attention at the time, but it turns out she was listening and absorbing it all.”
This morning I sat down to finally reply to this email, which I had received a few days ago. I had already read it several times over the weekend, and yet somehow, every single time, maybe because I was sick, my brain had skipped right over the most important part: “…she had coded.”
Once I caught it, the whole email shifted. I thought I was misunderstanding something, English is my second language so I often reread things when something doesn’t make sense. But it wasn’t a language thing this time. My brain had missed a word that changed everything.
Let me give you some context.
Back in November 2025, ML’s mom reached out to me. She was enthusiastic about bringing mindfulness to her 12-year-old daughter who, I quote “is quite mean and uses very offensive words.” She also shared that her daughter has autism, has ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) which means she doesn’t easily trust adults and authority figures, in part because of her adoption history too.
ODD and other disorders are often misunderstood. One of the things I came to understand more and more during my counselling training is that many mental health diagnoses don’t appear out of nowhere: they’re responses to past experiences. ODD in a child who has had painful experiences with adults? That makes complete sense to me.
I’ll also say that I started wondering if I have a little ODD myself… We form our beliefs, reactions, and patterns very early, sometimes from just one experience. And they stick.
We started the mindfulness program in January 2026, with 4 sessions to begin, with the teen and her mom together. It went pretty well, all things considered. One of the most valuable things I learned during my mindfulness teacher training was to always offer options, including the option of not practicing and just listening. In other words: be trauma-informed. That approach seemed to land well with ML.
I also invited the mom to participate alongside her daughter, to answer questions if she felt like it, to try the practices herself. This matters, because it sends a quiet but powerful message to the teen: this isn’t just for you. This is for all of us. Even adults struggle. A small but meaningful way to normalize being human.
ML was sometimes more receptive than other times. Often she didn’t look like she was engaging at all. But she’d ask questions. And occasionally she’d mention that she’d practiced on her own between sessions, which is exactly what mindfulness is meant to become: a daily practice, not just a weekly session.
Around session four, her dad started showing up too. Her mom decided to extend the program. And something beautiful was happening: the whole family was in it together.
Then around session 15, ML stopped coming. She had too many extracurricular activities and something had to give. The family chose to pause the mindfulness program for their daughter, but they kept going. They decided to complete all 21 sessions themselves. I love that!
This is actually the second time this has happened with a family. Parents sign up for their teen, the teen eventually steps back, and the parents end up doing the whole program, for themselves, and by extension for the whole family. I find that so beautiful every time.
We finished a few weeks ago. I asked the family for their feedback, and this is when I received this testimonial.
It’s a reminder of something I believe deeply: teens can look completely disengaged on the surface. They might say nothing. They might seem like they’re somewhere else entirely. And yet, we’re planting seeds. And sometimes those seeds grow in ways we never could have imagined. A 12-year-old with autism and ODD, who doesn’t trust adults, went home and built a self-help app using what she’d learned in our sessions. I still can’t quite get over it!
This is more than just a testimonial for me. Receiving positive feedback has always been hard for me. I’ve written about this before, the tendency to brush it off, to say “you did all the work,” to not let it fully land. But I’m trying to do things differently now. I want to take my part in this story. I showed up. I believe in this work. I taught these tools. Yes, this family did the learning, AND I was the one who offered the seeds.
Both things are true. I am part of the equation. And this time, I’m letting myself feel that. 💛
🌱 If you have a child or a teen who is struggling with their mental and emotional health, they’re not alone. I’m offering mindfulness programs and counselling sessions as an RTCc, and I’d be honoured to support your family. Reach out to learn more 🙂 Contact me
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